You know those dorks who are totally obsessed with Christmas? I mean, seriously, the holiday comes every freaking year and these people go bonkers over and over.
They pretend to be annoyed to see Christmas decorations around Halloween… but secretly, they’re pumped. “CHRISTMAS IS COMING, PEOPLE!” they gleefully think.
They go on vacation and MUST buy a Christmas ornament. It’s their law.
They have pretty much every Christmas movie from It’s A Wonderful Life to Elf.
They have multiple scented candles because every room needs to smell like Sparkling Snow or Christmas Cookie or Christmas Eve.
They have Christmas music on repeat starting Thanksgiving night.
I am totally one of these dorks.
Well, I used to be, but I’m not sure if I can be this year.
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| Our first Christmas tree in 2007. Fat, right? |
Max and Me -- The Christmas Dorks
Max was also a Christmas dork. Starting the day after Thanksgiving, he would literally say stuff like, “Let’s go look at Christmas decorations and get into the holiday spirit.” No, this isn’t an ABC Family movie. He really meant it.
Every year we’d take pictures of us buying a huge tree from our local high school marching band. Our trees were always obnoxiously large.
For all the ways that Max let me do just about everything but wipe his ass for him, he would happily wrap his own Christmas gifts.
So, yeah, we were pretty much two Christmas dorks. We loved it.
Do I Get A Christmas Tree?
Last week, I pulled out our box of ornaments and decorations. Last Christmas, we were living together but I’d already filed for divorce, so needless to say, there were no decorations for Christmas 2012. So, I hadn’t looked at this stuff in two years. As I put aside his Red Sox ornaments, I started pulling out our ornaments – Kat & Max, Boston 2007; Our First Christmas 2009; Naragansett 2011. Ugh.
You know what happened next. Me, on the floor, crying.
I called Ali and she patiently let me blubber.
“Each time I think, OK, I’m in the clear on this divorce crap, something else has to appear,” I sniffed. “I’m sick of stuff appearing!”
As a best friend should she reassured me that each moment like this is a big picture step forward and that I’m so strong. (I like when she tells me I’m strong.)
I took all of Max's and our ornaments and put them in a shopping bag to deal with later/never.
I took all of Max's and our ornaments and put them in a shopping bag to deal with later/never.
So anyway, here I am, a total Christmas dork with a huge tub of decorations, a drawer full of Christmas movies, and no Christmas tree. I can’t decide if putting up a tree will make me feel strong and independent or sad and wistful.
What did you do the first Christmas after your divorce? Did you decorate? Should I let my Balsam Pine candle suffice this year or should I put up a tree?
